Friday, March 26, 2010

Grumpiness, Twinkle Stars, and Cupcakes




Sooo... I am kind of tired of things being out of my control...okay really tired, like fed up. I have been quite grumpy and not super pleasant to be around as of late. So I decided to take some steps towards doing things that give me back a bit of control in my life; to help me feel a sense of accomplishment and success. I really wanted this year to be different. And I know the year is still pretty new but I had such high expectations for even the first couple months. It is frustrating when not even the little things pan out. I can't tell you how many times this year I have practically booked a job and then they tell me,"Oh, sorry we decided to go with another girl. Or, "Uh sorry, we decided to go younger for this role." Or, "Sorry, we love you, but you are just so much taller than our lead guy, but we think you're great...." Freakin' tiny actors....
Its hard to rely on others to find you work and auditions, and as much as I have inquired and "bugged" my agency they seem to think I just need to give it some time...(if you know me, you know that is not what I like to hear, what with my impatient nature and all). Its hard when I want to do so much good with my money--I want to provide for my family, I want to go back to Africa and help feed children, I want to do things that will make a difference in this world and everyday I see aaaaalll this money wasted on such worldly things. I like clothes, sure, I like having a reliable car etc...but I can't see the justification in spending millions of dollars on either of these things if I had that kind of money to spend...sigh, okay that was my lil' venting blurb.... So, if I want to act and if I want to be seen doing just that I am going to go out there and make my own movies and get into see casting directors myself. I have joined a group of fellow actors and writers and directors and we are filming our first short film in a couple weeks. I have started networking and have a couple meetings set up with different casting directors. Its not much, but its a start....I mean Julia Roberts met the director of Pretty Women at a bar...so ya never know!!!
And since one of my cakes sold for 200 bucks at a youth auction last week I decided I should look into making this a sort of business on the side. Drum roll please......introducing for the first time to the public world.... "Carly Kay's Cupcakes"!! It is all just ideas and spreadsheets right now. But I have my list of ingredients and prices semi worked out and I am starting off with 7 cupcake recipes from "Better Than Sex Cupcakes" to "Red Velvet Cupcakes" to Chocolate PB Cupcakes. I figure, I love to bake, people keep telling me I could sell the things I do bake but I never really thought about it seriously until now. I can work out of my home (yay for my double oven!) and start out small and see where it goes. Jordan hired some lady to make and bring them cupcakes for some school conference and she made 100 cupcakes and he paid her like 350 bucks, and they were just simple cupcakes! I thought, I could do that...and they would taste better ;) So, off I go continuing on the same sort of adventure I have been on and starting some new ones. It gives me something to look forward to, which is always a plus for me. Spring break is coming up for Jordan and we wanted to get out of here to somewhere tropical, but Carly isn't bringin' in the cash like she used to ehem, sorry J, so we may just head out to Palm Springs for a couple days, visit some friends in Arizona and maybe even drive up to Utah to see friends and family. I did get to talk to my nephew the other day on the phone while I was waiting at an audition and he almost made me cry when he sung his incredible version of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star"...he is two going on four...and I just love him and how he says my name "Carlay" and how when he tells you he loves you, you know he means it. The best was when he wrapped his little arms around my mom and I's necks while we were visiting UT, and he put his head in between our heads and rested it on our shoulders, sighed and said,"I just love you guys." Yeah, he's that cute. He'll be three in August, around the same time that my lil sis will be getting home from her mission! How time really does fly! I miss her like crazy and can't wait to see her again. She is serving her little booty off in Slovenia and I am so proud of all the great work she is doing. Okay, well it is almost noon...maybe I should change out of my sweats and get some things done. I have been on an organizing binge--thinking that if I put all my stuff in order then maybe things in my life might fall into some sort of order as well. And if not, then at least I will have a super organized house---for a couple months anyway...;)