Sleepy girl

Elsie has been starting to get a little upset when its time to go to sleep...she thinks she has too much to do and too much too see. This is the first time I think she has fallen asleep like this! Hilarious! And I dared to take a pic...I know...But I felt like I had to lie her down on her back...wouldn't her legs fall asleep??

Time--Yeah, I know it flies, but how can you make it walk?!

Oh happy day!! NO pain and pure JOY.

It's the kind of love you never knew existed until this very moment.
Sweet lil' girl 10 days old, you forget how tiny they start out!
Sleepy Elsie--How grateful I am for such an amazing sleeper, I know I am LUCKY!
3 months old and such a happy baby
Who knew such a big personality could fit in such a little baby:) Elsie 6 months
She got her little poses down! Hah! 7 months
9 months!
Halloween--BABY GAGA!!
Christmas 2011
Elsie turns 1!!
Life is good. Doesn't mean it doesn't have its challenges, but all in all I am truly, amazingly BLESSED.

New Year, room for plenty of new things to go down.

Well it is a new year. Who thought 2011 would fly by so fast? I resolve to do a lot of things this year, one of which is to start up this whole blogging thing once again. So here we go. I'll update this past year gradually so that I don't overwhelm everyone within a single post. But who am I kidding? I don't think very many people read this blog, so I will just try to keep it up as a way of journaling.

Elsie turned one last month. I can't believe I have a one year old. She is the size of a two year old and I swear she just keeps getting cuter and smarter. She says mama and dada, buh bye, nana (banana), more, and nuh nuh for no no. She is a good litter signer too, always using her please and thank you signs, but more often 'more' and 'eat'--what can I say? She's my little piggy going on 28 pounds:) Love it.

Jordan is at UPenn-- Yay Ivy League schooling! Its hard and expensive but it'll be worth it--I mean hey, he'll have a Masters Degree in a little over a year plus he is still working full time, which makes for a hectic life, but monthly income is always a plus!

We moved out of our home for 6 months to rent it out to pay for school. We lived with our good friends in their home, renting out a room from them. Our tenants moved out a bit early and our friends moved away as well, so we decided to move back into our home. A lot of moving in under 6 months, but its good to be back, and it was nice being able to rent out our home for over 4,0oo buckeroos a month...I love my house but I must say I'll miss that monthly check! Plan is to work--soooo, that is what my fingers are crossed for. How about a commercial or two this year?! Pretty please? These past few months I have worked for MaryKay, Target, Oil of Olay, Silpada Jewelry and I did a segment on E news--not sure when or if it has aired yet though. So, it seems to be picking up! I also starred in my first feature length film in December--more to come on that! Elsie also starred in the film:) I may shoot another feature this summer--another lead role! It would be shot in Texas and will be incredibly different from this last film so that would be amazing and exciting to shoot two films in a year. So, things are looking up (I think) career wise for me. Its fun to work again, to be acting more--I may even try to do a play this spring...we'll see.

So there is a little update--I want to put up 12 pics of Elsie, one for each month of this past year and include some Birthday and Holiday pics as well in the next few posts. I'll get better at this blogging business...hopefully...

Here's to a Happy New year!!

You know you're pregnant when...

You know you are pregnant when:

-Everyone looks at your belly instead of your face

-Things you used to pride yourself in you now suddenly suck at...for example the other day I was asked to bake a cake for a birthday (I normally just take cupcakes orders but here and there I will do a cake) and it took me three tries and a trip to the store to get more ingredients. The first one fell apart, the second one was just right and then I dropped it on the floor. I sat on the floor, amidst the chocolate mess and sobbed. It was 1am and I felt sick and tired and, well, obviously hormonal and pregnant. An awesome sight, really. Luckily I have an amazing husband and he practically made the whole 3rd cake for me. Then I got a great tip from the gal that ordered the cake, which I am not quite sure it made it worth it, but it helped:)

-You don't seem to talk as eloquently as you used to.

-You think you crave something so you make your husband go out and get it and when he returns and you take one whiff you want nothing to do with it anymore.

-You wake up constantly in the night because your baby thinks that night time is party time.

-You make sure you know where all the public bathrooms are if you are running errands all day.

-You throw back tums and milk like your life depends on it (freakin' heartburn)

-You have the most bizarre dreams....I had one the other night where I dreamt that my baby's foot busted right out of my abdomen and it was all bloody and skeleton like....creepy.

-You watch those birthing videos and want to cry, scream and laugh all at the same time.

-You wonder if your back pain will ever go away.

-It grosses you out when you are finally big enough that your boobs can just rest on top of your expanding belly...super hot.

- You think your girls can't get any bigger and then the next thing you know you are a double D...also super hot...but only according to your husband ;)

-You hate all the uncomfortable stuff that comes along with being pregnant, but you can't help but love the little one you are growing with all you have.

I just want her OUT so that I can hold her and tell her that in person. 9 more weeks...why does that seem like such a long time??

Longing for Africa

A couple summers back I spent the summer living and working in an orphanage in Kenya. I miss those kids everyday. I have since been supporting them and working with a non profit to help raise money. But its hard to send money there to help because of their poor money management skills etc. My friend Janet who started the non profit www.right2thrive.org is in Kenya right now visiting Neemaland Kings and Queens Orphanage where she also volunteered the year before I did. I am so jealous that she gets to be there and has the opportunity to hug all those children and show them love that they don't really ever receive. Unfortunately when she arrived she found the orphanage in a really awful state. Since I had been there they had been evicted from their home because it was too expensive and they had to move into something they could afford...which meant smaller and in an even more dangerous part of town. Janet found that all the kids were sleeping in what can only be described as tin huts (often what all the homes in the slums are made out of) and the adults were in the 3 bedroom house. It is winter there now so its usually damp and cold. The mattresses were spread across the cold wet ground, everything was dirty, the septic system was overflowing and most of the kids were sick. When I read this report from her I sobbed for a good two hours trying to hold my heart together, thinking if I pressed my hand hard enough to it it would stay in one piece. I then got my breathing back to normal and wrote Janet back with all the ideas and encouragement I could come up with to help her deal with the situation at hand. And then I cried some more. One can't quite understand how precious these kids are, how resilient and beautiful, until you meet them and see and feel it for yourself. I could listen to them sing all day long and the hugs are always endless and heartfelt. I try not to get upset at myself for feeling like I am not doing enough, because I know that doesn't help anything. I try to do what I can, separating my life and culture from theirs, because if you don't you can beat yourself up over everything you are blessed with knowing so many do without. The one thing I wish I could do was give people a taste of what I experienced with these orphans. I made a video, I have expressed my concern and love for them through letters trying to fundraise and the response is so little. If everyone gave up what it would cost for a single meal and donated it, it could change their world over there. But I know not everyone can see it the way I do because I have this immense love for them, I have read and heard their stories of hardship, I have witnessed their strength. So many of them come from similar situations; death of parents due to aids, separated during the wars between tribes and left homeless. There is this understanding amongst them that, yes, life has dealt them an awful hand but it doesn't do any good to be depressed about it. And so these children who have been through hell and back, beaten, raped, abandoned, parents dead, and so on, smile and thank God for all that they have. They play and laugh and love learning and not one complaint escapes their lips. They are a tremendous example to me. And so I can't help but think that they truly deserve more. They are forever a part of my life and I can't wait to see them all again. I will continue to love and support them, hoping I can someday get them all sponsored and into good schools so that they can have the bright future they deserve. For now the focus is keeping them healthy, providing a warmer, safer place for them to lie their heads down at night and then we will move on from there. I hope that even if people can't help them monetarily that they will keep the Kings and Queens of Neemaland in their prayers. For prayer can do wonders. Some might say I am wasting my time and energy, that these kids will always be in this situation once they run out of funds because they don't know how to provide for themselves. I say its not the children's fault. They haven't been taught. And one wouldn't withhold food and healthcare from their own children because they don't know how to take care of themselves yet, so why would I think it would be any different for these kids and those who are in charge of them? They haven't been taught correctly. There are 60 plus kids and they do what they can to feed and clothe them, but its not enough. It takes time and training and yes, money to get them educated and set up in a situation where they can succeed. So where is my million dollars already?? :)

Lovin' it? Mostly, maybe, I mean 'it' as in her, yes but pregnancy, well...nevermind...

I love this baby girl. I really do. Even when she is shoved up against my bladder just chillin' with her hand over her forehead like in this picture. I tend to whine about the way she makes me feel physically but amidst all the fatigue and sickness I can't help but imagine her tiny face looking up at me. I see her in my dreams all the time (she's really really cute) and I can almost sense her cheek against mine, holding her close with my arm under her little bum. I think the love will be overwhelming. She is already teaching me a lot of patience...reminding me I can't do it all and still feel like myself. She better be a good eater cause I am really only eating to sustain her these days as food has become a major turnoff for me. I have gotten pretty used to just feeling sick most of the time and having a never ending headache. And I don't know what it is, but most mornings I practically pass out...as in faint. Its kind of inconvenient if I am somewhere public, like at the grocery store, where there really isn't anywhere to just sit down and put your head between your legs. So I end up just having to sit on the ground momentarily or if I am lucky I will find a little step stool or something used my employees for stocking shelves. Its fantastic. I have met women who absolutely love being pregnant and I just kind of look at them with a confused slash intrigued sort of look, which combined on my face probably just makes me look crazy (or makes them think I think they are crazy, which they are probably right on with that), but I really do wish that were me. I think I will just stick to the dream of having her outside the womb and loving that instead:)

The Belly

People keep asking to see "the belly" so here it is, nothin' hidin' it! Why am I so shameless? I have to take these photos every week and send them to my modeling agency to they can tell how big I am getting so I can start booking maternity print jobs. I actually just worked for Nordstrom last week! That stuff should come out online sometime in the fall. So its a great reason to eat healthy and stay in shape when you have to get photographed baring all every week...(plus these jobs pay pretty dang well) :) Baby is good, I need to scan in and post her new ultrasound pics from her 2nd trimester screening. She's pretty cute, and more importantly the Dr. said she has a very beautiful heart:) Music to my ears. I had my first baby shower on Saturday in Seattle which was so fun. I found myself talking baby talk in response to the clothes I was getting. Funny;) I still need to go through those pics and upload em. For now I am enjoying feeling the lil one move around all the time. I still don't have an appetite and get headaches most days, but I will take that over all that morning sickness felt those first few months. We are 5 months along! Over halfway there and part of me is a little afraid yet excited that these next few months are going to fly by. Lots to do!